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Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 09:27 AM
Jade & Bobby



Bobby was born on the 27th February 1998 We saw the advertisement for a Lhasa Apso in pets mart and decided to have a look at this little boy pup.

When Partricia (the breeder) brought him out we both fell in love with him, Carol (wife) held him in her hands, he just sat there looked at us & rolled his eyes, he had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, they were huge. After the normal pleasantries, we paid and went home with Bobby.

I have always had dogs from way back and although I have enjoyed them, Bobby was special. He became my boy, if I went out he used to cry for a time, sitting on the stairs by the door, when I returned Carol used to say ‘Bobby new you were coming home, he’s been barking & dancing around in excitement by the door for the last 30 seconds or so, he could hear your van coming down the road. When I got in he went crazy, getting me all his toys even his special ‘baby’ (a soft toy rag doll he was given when he first came to us) he had pulled the stuffing from the inside, it was only the material left, but he guarded it with ferocity should another dog go near it.

He was a bright little fella, he listened quite intently to songs on the radio & one in particular caught his attention it was…a Brian ferry & Jerry Hall ‘Lets stick together’, somewhere in the middle Jerry came in with a high octave line chorus, well Bobby used to start this high pitched barking for the whole time Jerry was singing, even if the radio was in another room he used to pick up on this song & go rushing into the room to be near the sound & he would start.

If anything frightened Bobby he used to come running to me for protection.
Bobby loved the cage that he slept in since the day we had him, he wouldn’t sleep anywhere else, it had to be his cage & it had to be in the kitchen,
One night about 2pm I heard a noise from downstairs, it sounded like someone trying to break in, a splintering of wood, a crunching sound, with a whimpering & whining at the same time. I came down, it was coming from the kitchen, I opened the door & Bobby flew out & huddled on my feet with his face pressed into my legs, he was absolutely terrified. Looking into the kitchen I couldn’t see anything that could have caused him to get into this state, everything looked normal. I carried Bobby upstairs & he stayed the rest of the night on the foot of the bed.
He slept in the same room as us from then on.
Till this day we never new what scared him.



Bobby wasn’t destructive at all, he never chewed a hole in the little things he played with, he was the perfect dog,
From the very start he was clean, crying at the door when he wanted to go to toilet, he was completely trustworthy.
I spent hours brushing & combing him, he had a nice coat, but one good shake after he was done & he was back to looking scruffy.

I was with Bobby every day, we went for walks as often as possible, he joined in everything we did, he new our routine & even predicted what was about to happen next. He was part of my life, we never went on holiday, I couldnt settle without my dogs, especially Bobby being with me.


On the morning of 15th June last year (2006) we got up as usual & Bobby had a few of his biscuits prior to having his breakfast, it was a bright sunny day & I went with Bobby to the garden with my cup of tea, he had his usual sniff around, did his toilet & lay by my feet where I was sat drinking.
After awhile I went back indoors, Carol gave the dogs their breakfast but Bobby wasn’t interested and asked to go out again, I went with him but all he did was chew on some grass then pumped his stomach and brought up some white frothy stuff, I wasn’t too concerned as the dogs did this occasionally.
Later on (about an hour later) he asked to go out again & once more I went with him, he did the same again but this time the liquid he brought up was a slight brown colour, but he didn’t seem distressed.
As the day progressed He was being gradually being more sick.
Then his motions started being a bit loose, that got slowly worse, by late evening.
I telephoned the vet, explained the symptoms & was told that it was
‘just an upset stomach, there is a lot of that about, keep him hydrated and bring him to the vets in the morning if it ‘s not any better’.

I stayed with Bobby all night, I went into the spare room with him so Carol could get some sleep, his condition went from bad, worse. After a few hours (3am) he was squirting blood from his back passage, every time he had the urge he jumped from the bed so as not to
make a mess on the bed. I cleaned him, picked him up and settled him down, giving him a syringe of water as instructed by the vet.

( This is so hard to put on paper)

I let him go on this way until 5.30 am, I couldn’t let him go on any longer. Wrapped in a towel I picked Bobby up, as I did so he looked at me and just rolled his eyes from right to left, as he did when we first saw him.
I drove to the vets practice right across town, Bobby lying on the seat next to me.
When we arrived I rang the bell and banged the door, no answer, I walked to the rear of the building carrying Bobby & calling out. Still no answer, back I went to the front of the building, pressed the doorbell again, this time a young lady came & asked what I wanted. I explained briefly & she ushered me in.
She was the vet, I laid Bobby on the operating table in the surgery and the vet examined him. His stomach was very tense & guarded.
‘Leave him with me’ I was told,’ He’s not at all well, I’m going to put him on a drip, go home and I will call you in a couple of hours’.
At 10.30am the phone rang, I answered, I’m calling about Bobby, the voice said,’ how is he I replied’.
I’m afraid Bobby passed away 5 minutes ago.

I wish I …………… the pain was unbearable,
I hadn’t even said goodbye. My Bobby’s dead.

This was my fault I should have insisted on seeing the vet.

I will never forget Bobby & never forgive myself for letting him down.
The pain now is as it was on the 16th June last year 2006.

I had to write this, I'm trying to come to terms with it, but I dont think its working.

brunosmom
01-14-2007, 09:46 AM
I am sorry Inn keeper about Bobby....{{{{{HUGS}}}}}.....:(...Then worst apart about losing a beloved friend is the feeling of not knowing what was wrong ...let the guilt go......Bobby loved you and knew he was loved....you gave him the best home he could possibly have and loved him with your whole heart....he knew...and it sounds like he was happy. Celebrate his life through the memory and the happier times you had with him....he would not want you to be sad. You will see him again along with the many other best friends we've all lost ...again at the "Rainbow Bridge".............:)

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 09:51 AM
I tried to let go, but it's like trying to stop breathing.........

brunosmom
01-14-2007, 10:00 AM
all I can say is....it will get easier....time can help mend your heart....won't ever heal it.....I have a broken heart also......I think it will always hurt....but you'll get support from us here.....we have all been through it...and know how your feeling...{{{{HUGS}}}}

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 10:06 AM
I know what you say is right, time is a great healer. Thanks for your support.

Tony

retriever crazy
01-14-2007, 10:08 AM
That's so sad :sad-smiley-002: Poor Bobby. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope Bobby will pick out another great dog for you soon

brunosmom
01-14-2007, 10:14 AM
you did your best with Bobby.....I found this on another site...it is by Ginger-lyn Summer
September 10, 1999



var site="sm2Petloss"
"Our beloved pets are gone, and out of pain. We still torture ourselves with the pain of guilt and doubt. It's human to do that, too, but are we being fair to ourselves?

Let the guilt go. Know that your furbabies don't blame you; they understand, because they know your heart. Let yourself forgive yourself, and allow all the love you have to be there for another. There are so many who need it."

the only other thing I can offer you is support when you want to talk....we will all listen and try to help you through it.....glad you found our forum....:)

Maria
01-14-2007, 10:52 AM
Bless you {{{{{{cuddles}}}}} I know what you are going through, I recently had a very special fur baby go to Rainbow bridge:grouphug:

brunosmom
01-14-2007, 01:43 PM
hope this helps............:)
Your Pets In Heaven

by Ken D. Conover
To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all.
For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you.
For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.
For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.
I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each others lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.
Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures.
I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.
We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever.
You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique.
Don't hold the love that you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.
Your Pets In Heaven

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 01:45 PM
Many thanks for all your supportive comments, My heart goes out to anyone who has had a loss.
I understand that in some cases, time has no meaning as any event such as this, is as vivid today, as the day it happened. The hurt is not self pity but regenerative, triggered by an item or picture or an anniversary.
People have a pet (mostly) because they want to give love, what they get in return is far greater and over a period that becomes so much more than one has expected. The loss is deeper than anticipated.

best Regards to you all.
Tony

Maria
01-14-2007, 01:51 PM
Oh, Jan I am sitting here blubbing like a baby here, thank you for posting that. I think it takes someone to read a poem like that to help them release their grief.

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 02:34 PM
That's so sad :sad-smiley-002: Poor Bobby. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope Bobby will pick out another great dog for you soon

Thank you, it was because of Bobby that I now have Robbi. he's still a baby, although he has grown quite large he still has to be carried downstairs, he thinks he is so small still.

Jake2006
01-14-2007, 03:37 PM
Hi Tony
Your story is sad but at the same time its a celebration of your wonderful buddy, baby, family member Bobby.
He sounds like he loved to live and lived life to the full. When he left I'm sure he took a little bit of your heart with him, but he'll always be alive in your memory.
Its hard to let go, to stop punishing yourself when a pet dies. A previous pet of mine died in my arms as I ran into Cambridge Veterinary Hospital. I kept thinking 'if only I'd got there a few minutes earlier'. Not that it would have made any difference as he was resuscitated 3 times but we let him go when the Consultant feared brain damage.
You now have Robbi and he is a baby who relies on you, just as Bobby would have wanted you to care for him, you now care for Robi.

A pet is a gift from 'heaven' but stays with us for too short a time.

Carole & Jake

xx

Doberman's
01-14-2007, 04:09 PM
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))

We are all here for you. Prayers and condolences from my family to your's. I totally understand how you are feeling, time is the great healer but the memories tend to be bitter sweet. It always helps to have others that understand your pain or are just there to listen as we are in both aspects.

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 04:15 PM
Sandi, thank you,
I know you understand as do all of you guys that have been through the same.

Inn Keeper
01-14-2007, 04:21 PM
Hi Tony
Your story is sad but at the same time its a celebration of your wonderful buddy, baby, family member Bobby.
He sounds like he loved to live and lived life to the full. When he left I'm sure he took a little bit of your heart with him, but he'll always be alive in your memory.
Its hard to let go, to stop punishing yourself when a pet dies. A previous pet of mine died in my arms as I ran into Cambridge Veterinary Hospital. I kept thinking 'if only I'd got there a few minutes earlier'. Not that it would have made any difference as he was resuscitated 3 times but we let him go when the Consultant feared brain damage.
You now have Robbi and he is a baby who relies on you, just as Bobby would have wanted you to care for him, you now care for Robi.

A pet is a gift from 'heaven' but stays with us for too short a time.

Carole & Jake

xx

I know I am sharing the same feeling as you have experienced Carole, as the same as all you guys, thank you for your note.
Tony

LesterJ
01-14-2007, 08:38 PM
Thanks for sharing your story Tony. I'm sure there was nothing you or the vet could have done. :( I love the picture of Bobby. He reminds me of our shih tzu who passed many years ago. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care.

Amy-Lou
01-15-2007, 02:40 AM
I am so sorry to hear of your news Tony..........
I hope you have many happy memories and lots of pictures to look at. At this time everyone can offer advice and words of wisdom.
But you already know what everyone is saying is true, the hardest part is believing it and that will just take time!
Learning to live everyday without that special someone that brings a hidden smile to your face is hard but everyday it gets easier.
Am glad to hear the void Bobby has left has begun to be filled. It would be a waste to have so much love for your Bobby and not give part of that love to another. I wish you the best and hope your new friend settles soon and helps to mend your wounds....... x

Mom to Lil Buddy
01-15-2007, 11:21 AM
Dear Tony,

I too share your grief, may Robbi help you heal, as Max as helped me. There is always a hole, but may it soon be filled with only wonderful memories, driving away the "what if's and if only's" We do our best.

Borzoi mad
01-15-2007, 02:33 PM
Hi Tony I have just caught up with this thread and should just like to add to what the others have said how very sorry I am to hear of what happend to your beloved little Bobby. Run free at the bridge little man. We have all gone through it at one time or another and time is a great healer though you will never forget him and he will always be special to you and though your new puppy can never replace your beloved boy, he can help heal your broken heart. Please don't blame yourself.

We are all here for you if you want to talk.

mum2max
01-24-2007, 07:46 PM
xxxx, Catriona.

donna
02-12-2007, 03:02 PM
Tony,
I understand completely your feelings of guilt, as I feel the same.
Your story is so sad.
My head is full of 'what ifs' about my Millie. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but we only did what we believed was right at the time.
The most important thing is that we loved them and gave them happy lives, they would not want us to be sad and full of guilt.
It is the quality not the length of a life that is most important.

Inn Keeper
02-13-2007, 11:47 AM
Thanks for your kind words Donna.

ritabooker
02-13-2007, 12:06 PM
InnKeeper: Condolences for your loss of Bobby. You're right it is not self-pity, it is because you care. I still get wispy over ever one of our lost pets when certain fond(or sad) memories surface. We will never get over our losses, but then, I am not sure I want to. They know we love them...that is our gift in all this.

skunkstripe
02-13-2007, 12:12 PM
How true the saying:
"You can never replace the dog who is still in your heart. You can only make your heart big enough to love another dog."