Doberman's
01-29-2007, 05:27 PM
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>
> 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
> 10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
> 12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
> 1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
> 3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
> 5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
> 7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
> 8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
>
> 11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with
>bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
>other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
>nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
>only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
>disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their
>feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
>clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
>audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight.
>I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
>However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my
>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this
>means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my
>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this
>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
>snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released
>--and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
stupid!
>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
>captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so
>he is safe.......for now....
>
> 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
>
> 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>
> 10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>
> 12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
>
> 1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>
> 3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>
> 5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>
> 7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>
> 8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
>
> 11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
>
> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>
> Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with
>bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
>other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
>Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
>nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
>only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
>disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their
>feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
>clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
>audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight.
>I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
>However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my
>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this
>means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my
>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this
>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
>snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released
>--and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
stupid!
>The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
>the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
>captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so
>he is safe.......for now....