brunosmom
01-30-2007, 11:04 AM
The breeds are listed alphabetically.
Q. How many agility dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
All American/Mixed Breeds
Whasamadder? Aintcha ever seen a DOG change a LIGHTBULB before?
While all you purebreds are trying to figure it out, just give me the lightbulb and let's be done with it!
American Eskimo
A. I can show you 12 ways to screw the bulb.
Australian Shepherd
A. Put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Belgian Shepherd Dogs
A. I've looked the problem over (I needed a good view, so I gracefully jumped on the dining room table for a look-see). And now will casually leap completely over the coffee table to balance easily on the back of the sofa to change that light bulb.
Border Collie
A. Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. It takes about one BC for at least every 100 light bulbs per day.
A. Ooooo! This is FUN, where are some more bulbs to change so I can see if I can do it FASTER!
And now that I can do that, show me some that are HARDER!!! and HIGHER!!! and BRIGHTER!!!...
A. My turn, my turn! Change it back for my turn.
Boxer
A. Who cares about the stupid light bulb....let's play! NOW!
Catahoula Leopard
A. I guess I can change it. After all I need the light to read by.
Cattle Dog
A. Bitch: You other dogs better not touch the light bulb. It's my light bulb and I'll change it, damn it!
A. . Dog: OK, let her change it, I didn't want to change it anyway.
Chihuahua
A. . Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Lights?
A. We don't need no stinkin' lights!!
Cocker Spaniel
A. Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Coonhound
A. Hey, it's just a dog changing a lightbulb. Don't get so hung up in details. Where's the blanket I stole from the greyhound?
Corgi
A. Since I can't reach it, I'd be glad to supervise its replacement!
Dachshund
A. You know I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Deerhound
A. If I sleep on the couch long enough, the sun will come up, and no-one will NEED to change the light bulb.
Doberman
A. . While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
German Shepherd Dog
A. None. This would never happen. Light bulbs are replaced before they go out as part of the dog's routine monthly maintenance of the house.
Giant Schnauzer
A. If I stand here and stare at my owner long enough, she'll change it and give me cookies while she's doing it!
Golden Retriever
A. The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Great Dane
A. Just give me back my blanket and do it yourself.
Greyhound
A. Could you do it?? And while you're up could you get me another blanket?
Hound Dog
A. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Irish Wolfhound
A. It isn't moving. Who cares?
Jack Russell Terrier
A. Light bulb? I only said I'd help because I thought it was a funny shaped tennis ball."
Keeshond
A. I started to change it, but discovered that the job requires an opposable thumb. Instead, I ate the pumpkin pie I found on the counter, an activity easily accomplished in the dark!"
Labrador
A. Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Leonberger
A. The light bulb needs changing? Hmmm I think I'll take a brief nap and contemplate the problem. With luck the Border Collie will change the light bulb, rewire the house, redo the plumbing and program the VCR so that I won't miss any agility on Animal Planet...
Malamute
A. Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Mastiff
A. Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Old English Sheep Dog
A. Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Papillon
A. The bulb is burned out? I couldn't tell from under the covers.
Pointer
A. I see it, there it is, right there.
Pug
A. What's a light bulb? Can you eat it? Cuz if you can eat it, we don't want to change it!
Rottweiller
A. Go Ahead! Make me!
Shetland Sheepdog
A. It takes three or more. One to change the light bulb and at least two or more to bark incessantly to tell the one they're doing it all wrong.
A. Hey! Hey! There's a light bulb over here that needs changing! Hey! Hey! I don't CARE if you're sleeping! Hey! Get over here and take care of this!
Shi-tzu
A. Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants.
Smooth Fox Terrier
A. Who needs lights--Rats come out in the dark from the tunnels.
Standard Poodle
A. Have someone else do it so we can offer them drinks afterwards!
Toy Poodle
A. I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Q. How many agility dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
All American/Mixed Breeds
Whasamadder? Aintcha ever seen a DOG change a LIGHTBULB before?
While all you purebreds are trying to figure it out, just give me the lightbulb and let's be done with it!
American Eskimo
A. I can show you 12 ways to screw the bulb.
Australian Shepherd
A. Put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Belgian Shepherd Dogs
A. I've looked the problem over (I needed a good view, so I gracefully jumped on the dining room table for a look-see). And now will casually leap completely over the coffee table to balance easily on the back of the sofa to change that light bulb.
Border Collie
A. Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. It takes about one BC for at least every 100 light bulbs per day.
A. Ooooo! This is FUN, where are some more bulbs to change so I can see if I can do it FASTER!
And now that I can do that, show me some that are HARDER!!! and HIGHER!!! and BRIGHTER!!!...
A. My turn, my turn! Change it back for my turn.
Boxer
A. Who cares about the stupid light bulb....let's play! NOW!
Catahoula Leopard
A. I guess I can change it. After all I need the light to read by.
Cattle Dog
A. Bitch: You other dogs better not touch the light bulb. It's my light bulb and I'll change it, damn it!
A. . Dog: OK, let her change it, I didn't want to change it anyway.
Chihuahua
A. . Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Lights?
A. We don't need no stinkin' lights!!
Cocker Spaniel
A. Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Coonhound
A. Hey, it's just a dog changing a lightbulb. Don't get so hung up in details. Where's the blanket I stole from the greyhound?
Corgi
A. Since I can't reach it, I'd be glad to supervise its replacement!
Dachshund
A. You know I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Deerhound
A. If I sleep on the couch long enough, the sun will come up, and no-one will NEED to change the light bulb.
Doberman
A. . While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
German Shepherd Dog
A. None. This would never happen. Light bulbs are replaced before they go out as part of the dog's routine monthly maintenance of the house.
Giant Schnauzer
A. If I stand here and stare at my owner long enough, she'll change it and give me cookies while she's doing it!
Golden Retriever
A. The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Great Dane
A. Just give me back my blanket and do it yourself.
Greyhound
A. Could you do it?? And while you're up could you get me another blanket?
Hound Dog
A. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Irish Wolfhound
A. It isn't moving. Who cares?
Jack Russell Terrier
A. Light bulb? I only said I'd help because I thought it was a funny shaped tennis ball."
Keeshond
A. I started to change it, but discovered that the job requires an opposable thumb. Instead, I ate the pumpkin pie I found on the counter, an activity easily accomplished in the dark!"
Labrador
A. Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Leonberger
A. The light bulb needs changing? Hmmm I think I'll take a brief nap and contemplate the problem. With luck the Border Collie will change the light bulb, rewire the house, redo the plumbing and program the VCR so that I won't miss any agility on Animal Planet...
Malamute
A. Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Mastiff
A. Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Old English Sheep Dog
A. Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Papillon
A. The bulb is burned out? I couldn't tell from under the covers.
Pointer
A. I see it, there it is, right there.
Pug
A. What's a light bulb? Can you eat it? Cuz if you can eat it, we don't want to change it!
Rottweiller
A. Go Ahead! Make me!
Shetland Sheepdog
A. It takes three or more. One to change the light bulb and at least two or more to bark incessantly to tell the one they're doing it all wrong.
A. Hey! Hey! There's a light bulb over here that needs changing! Hey! Hey! I don't CARE if you're sleeping! Hey! Get over here and take care of this!
Shi-tzu
A. Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants.
Smooth Fox Terrier
A. Who needs lights--Rats come out in the dark from the tunnels.
Standard Poodle
A. Have someone else do it so we can offer them drinks afterwards!
Toy Poodle
A. I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.