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donna
02-11-2007, 08:04 PM
Millie was the most beautiful greyhound you could ever meet, inside and out.
I had the pleasure of being her owner for 6 years. She was a retired racer but only 2 1/2 years old when I got her. She was company for Milo, another retired racer but he sadly died a few months after Millie came into my life.
We had been through some of the hardest years of my life together. She adored me and I adored her. I gave her the best life I could. She was so gentle and pretty, I called her my princess.
She had to deal with various injuries over the years, mainly from running too fast in circles, but was always brave and always came to me if she had so much as stood on a stone with her pretty little paws, holding it up until I kissed it better and gave it a rub she would miraculously recover and run off again happliy. She was never naughty, I could leave my dinner on the floor and knew she woudn't touch it. The only thing was when she had her dinner she would come back into the living room and rub her dirty nose and mouth all over the sofa.
Due to another shoulder injury she hadn't been allowed off the lead for a few weeks and was put on a second dose of metacam last week, she was due to start physio next week.
Yesterday she had what I initially thought was just a stomach upset. She kept asking to go outside and eat grass. within hours she was being sick and had terrible dioarreah with some blood in it. She began panting and crying,
I took her straight to the vet, she did her usual little dance on the floor as I got her lead out to go and wagged her tail. I knew she wouldn't be happy when we got to the vets because she has always been petrified.
I explained her symtoms to the vet who was not unduly concerned but wanted to admit her so as not to get dehydrated. I said I wasn't happy to leave her there because she got so distressed and the vet agreed I could take some medication home with her. While I was sitting back in the waiting room and the vet was explaining the meds to me, Millie was standing infront of me. She was panting heavily but that was usual for her when I took her to the vets, she just hated being there. She suddenly looked me straight in the eye then collapsed, I just managed to catch her head before it hit the floor. The vet scopped her up and ran with her, she was yelping then passed out again. She was bleeding from her back passage.
The next few moments I felt as if I wasn't there, this couldn't be real. there was such commotion around her as they tried to resusitate her.
I walked out and sat on a bench outside. A few minutes later the vet came towards me, I knew what she was going to say, she had tears in her eyes.
Millie was gone. I somehow managed to go back in and see her, I kissed and cuddled her and said my goodbyes.
I couldn't bear for her beautiful body to go through an autopsy, but the most likely cause was a severe reaction to the metacam I had been giving her for her lame shoulder which I found out later can cause fatal internal bleeding.
The guilt I feel is unimaginable. I was slowly poisoning my own dog. If I hadn't taken her back to the vets last week and accepted the metacam she would be with me now.
I am writing this because I can't accept she has gone, I feel as though she's still here with me, I just hope that wherever she is she knows how much I loved her and only ever tried to help her, but I let her down, I feel like I have betrayed her trust in me to care for her always.
I know anyone reading this post will understand the unbearble pain I am feeling.
We spent all our time together, went on holidays together, sat on the sofa together, slept on my bed togther, although she had two beds, one downstairs and one upstairs, but she wanted to be close to me all the time.
I will miss her smell, I loved to sniff her, I loved to watch her dreaming with her tail wagging and barking at rabbits in her sleep. I loved hearing her pitter patter of her feet as she trotted over to me for a cuddle. The way she would push me out the way so she could lie down and watch me do my hair in the morning. The way she would nuzzle her nose under my arm to make me tickle her head. Of course the worst thing will be her not waiting for me behind the door when I come home, throwing her toys in the air in exitement.
Millie was a healthy dog, fully enjoying her life. She was an angel on this earth, she must now be an angel in heaven.
Time will help me heal my heart, she will live with me forever in my heart.
For all the pain I am going through, I would do it all over again, I have to remember all the wonderful times we had, her life was cut short but I think she was happy, and for that I am grateful.
God bless Millie, until we meet again in another world, thankyou for the richness you gave to my life
I will always love and remember you x

Doberman's
02-11-2007, 08:17 PM
:grouphug: HUGS.

I am crying with you.:sad-smiley-002: I know the pain you feeel and the guilt. Please do not blame yourself, Millie loves you adn is waiting at the bridge for you. She is free of the pain she was in and running free again.

We are all here for you.

I hope this poem helps comfort you.

The Rainbow Bridge poem


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

ritabooker
02-11-2007, 10:53 PM
Now I am crying...but as I have read to the end of your story for Millie I can tell that you will be alright, eventually.

brunosmom
02-12-2007, 10:14 AM
:sad-smiley-002: Donna...I'm crying too.....Millie is still with you....she is watch over you because you are sad and you heart is broken and she can not bear to see you so upset....her soul will always live in you heart and she is healthy again waiting for you with all of ours that have crossed the bridge and wait for us....God gave you a gift....you loved her..... and you gave one back to him. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} :sad-smiley-002:

Ellies mummy
02-12-2007, 02:28 PM
Millie will be with you always hun. What a wouderful girl she sounds.
Take Care and remember all the happy times you shared.

donna
02-12-2007, 02:52 PM
Thankyou for your kind messages.
The tears are still flowing, but I know my Millie would not want me to be sad. Maybe one day I will find the strength to help another greyhound, I'm sure Millie would want me to, she had such a kind heart.
Donna

skunkstripe
02-12-2007, 03:39 PM
Donna I am crying too. I am not good at writing this stuff so I have copied a poem that I think describes what I feel:

I will lend to you for awhile,
a pup, God said.
For you to love him while he lives
and mourn for him when heŽs dead.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years,
or maybe two of three
But will you, Žtill I call him back,
take care of him for me.

HeŽll bring his charms to gladden you
and (should his stay be breaf)
youŽll always have his memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return
But there are lessons taught below
I want this pup to learn.
IŽve looked the whole world over
in search of teachers true
And from the folk that crowd`s lifeŽs land
I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love
Nor think tha labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take my pup back again.

I fancied that I heard them say
"Dear Lord Thy Will be Done,"
For all the joys this pup will bring,
the risk of grief weŽll run.
WeŽll shelter him with tenderness
weŽll love him while we may
And for the happiness we`ve known forever grateful stay
But should you call him back
much sooner than weŽve planned,
WeŽll brave the bitter grief that comes,
ant try to understand.
If, by our love, weŽve managed,
your wishes to achieve
In memory of him we loved,
to help us while we grieve,
When our faithful bundle departs this world of strife,
WeŽll have yet another pup and love him all his life.

-author unknown

donna
02-13-2007, 01:31 PM
I am still struggling to come to terms with the fact that she's gone and I'll never be able to hold her beautiful face in my hands and kiss her nose again.
I have bought a new photo frame today. I wish I has taken more photos of her, I thought we had years left ahead of us.

tahlee50
02-13-2007, 05:10 PM
Donna, I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Millie. It is devastating to lose a pet, after all they are a family member. You have many happy memories there so that will keep you going. All my thoughts are with you...sending hugs from me and sloppy kisses from my crew.
RIP Millie.

Inn Keeper
02-16-2007, 12:41 PM
Donna,
I tried to write this a couple of days back, but found it difficult to do, any words I wrote seemed so inadequate, (knowing how I felt when I lost Bobby with exactly the same symptoms). The helplessness is overwhelming.
Don't blame yourself for what you didn't know or understand.
My thoughts are with you. My tears are for your pain.

donna
02-16-2007, 01:25 PM
Thankyou Tony, and thankyou everyone who has shared my tears.

kw_5kids
02-16-2007, 01:35 PM
Oh Honey, I am so sorry for your loss and pain {{{HUGS}}} Please except my condolences. Rest assured she's waiting for you at the rainbow bridge {{{HUGS}}} again

S-J
02-16-2007, 01:41 PM
I am so sorry, I dont know what to say, I cant see the screen very well which doesnt help.

KatzNK9
02-16-2007, 01:54 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you'll find a way to soon bring another love into your heart. Being able to give that type of love to an animal is one of the best things in life you can do for the animal and yourself. Their lives are far too short which is why I believe they give us their all while they are with us.

mum2max
02-16-2007, 07:10 PM
All our love at this very sad time xxx. You did what you thought was best and that's all anyone can do. Be strong and be happy xxx.