Borzoi mad
03-20-2007, 01:16 PM
Thought I'd share this hope it hasn't been done before
Lead - a strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to ensure your person goes where you want him/her to go
Dog Bed - any soft clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the spare room or tje mewly upholstered sofa in the living room.
Drool - is what you do when your perons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad, and let the drool fall to the floor ontot he new carpet or better still on their laps.
Sniff - a social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place yur nose as close as you can in the other dogs rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times until your person makes you stop.
Dustbin - a container which your neighbours put out once a week - to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with butter and margarine wrappers to shed, beef bones to consume and mouldy crusts of bread.
Bicycles - 2 wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit you must hide behind a buish and dash out, bark loudly and tun alongside a few meters, then the person swerves and falls into the bushes and you run like hell.
Deafness - This is a malady which affects dogs when the person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person and then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
Thunder - this is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessart to warn them f the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
Waste paper basket - this is a dog toy filled with paper. tissues and old candy wrappers. When you get bored turn over the basket andf strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. Do this even if you have only been left for 10 muinutes and your persons will eventually get the message.
Sofas - are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run the front end of the sofa to ensure your whiskers are clean.
Bath - This is a process by which humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Bump - The best way to get your persons attention when they are drinking a cup of tea or coffee.
:cheers:
Lead - a strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to ensure your person goes where you want him/her to go
Dog Bed - any soft clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the spare room or tje mewly upholstered sofa in the living room.
Drool - is what you do when your perons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad, and let the drool fall to the floor ontot he new carpet or better still on their laps.
Sniff - a social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place yur nose as close as you can in the other dogs rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times until your person makes you stop.
Dustbin - a container which your neighbours put out once a week - to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with butter and margarine wrappers to shed, beef bones to consume and mouldy crusts of bread.
Bicycles - 2 wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit you must hide behind a buish and dash out, bark loudly and tun alongside a few meters, then the person swerves and falls into the bushes and you run like hell.
Deafness - This is a malady which affects dogs when the person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person and then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
Thunder - this is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessart to warn them f the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
Waste paper basket - this is a dog toy filled with paper. tissues and old candy wrappers. When you get bored turn over the basket andf strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. Do this even if you have only been left for 10 muinutes and your persons will eventually get the message.
Sofas - are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run the front end of the sofa to ensure your whiskers are clean.
Bath - This is a process by which humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Bump - The best way to get your persons attention when they are drinking a cup of tea or coffee.
:cheers: