Dealing with the loss of a Pet (since i've been through it recently)

[PomeranianCrazy]

Dealing with the loss of a Pet
"Therefore to this dog will I, tenderly not scornfully, render praise and favor: with my hand upon his head, is my benediction said, therefore and forever." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, To Flush, My Dog

What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives. With the help and guidance from veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our pets who share everything with us. Our pets see us through marriages, divorces, and the birth of children. Pets endure separation and welcome us back as if we'd been away forever. They are the best pals we have for accepting us as we are.
Pets also help bring us through the losses in our lives. For many of us, our companions are the anchors. We lose a job, we change residences, and we lose friends and relatives through death and separation. The constant is the unwavering love and devotion of a companion animal. One day, that constant will become one of our losses. Now we will grieve because we have lost that companion. Where do we turn? When the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to is gone, where do we go for comfort?
One of the most difficult and important parts of grief and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life and that is all right. You have that right to grieve and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world like ours, the trick is to take the time.
You will probably be faced with well-meaning people who feel you should spend a certain amount time feeling bad and then get over it. No one is able to tell you your time frame for grieving. Only someone who has worked through grief can tell you about the time it takes to heal. Many stages of grief have been described, and none of them are absolute. Generally, the stages are:
1. Shock/disbelief/denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance/resolution/recovery
Well these five stages i've been through, and I'm still working on stage 5, but its getting better as the days go by! The order of the stages happened just like that but I would get better then go back. Ex- Step 1 then 2 all the way to 4 then back to 1 and 2. So ideally, these stages are supposed to progess from stages one through five in predictable fashion. This just does not happen. Be gentle with yourself. Many of us do not go through all stages and almost all of us will be thrown back into and out of these stages before the healing truly begins. With resolution comes perhaps not so much the "getting on with it" as it does the chance to place the memories in a comfortable spot in your life. You may find yourself very close to resolution when a memory or anniversary of your pet's passing knocks you back into the anger or denial stage. Not only is this understandable but it is also a fact of life. Give yourself time.
If, however, you feel that time is passing too painfully for you or you want some very special and caring support, there are many sources of support available to you, like for example the Dogforum, or any forums of some sort.
Or your veterinarian, church, humane societies, counseling, hospice, family and friends, any of these can help will the healing progess so talk. Let your feelings and emotions run free.


Sorry this was so long, just had to share and let it out.;)

[sheplovr]

What a very nice post honey. It is so sad to loose a pet we had so long, many many memories. One never forgets we just heal somewhat. I love what you had to post and so true and some of us morn badly as I do in loosing my pets or puppies. Thanks so much.

[vagreys]

I forgot, the other night. It tore me up, too.

I called the dogs up to bed, and Lily didn't come. She use to be the last one up, anyway, sometimes, and I just automatically called for her when she didn't show. I called several times before I was reminded. It hit just as hard as when I watched her eyes fade. Yes, it just take time, and you can't go around it - you have to go through it.

[KatzNK9]

Thank you for sharing, Brittany! It is always so hard & those many stages of grief are never predictible.

[PomeranianCrazy]

Thanks all for the lovely replies.

[Vickypoodle]

Thanks for this. But i still need some advice.

I lost my King Charles Cavalier in December, His name was Pip and he was 11 years old.

He had been with me through all of the difficult times in my life. Especially when i was a teenager and no human being could understand how i felt, he always understood. He really was the most placid and loving little dog anyone could ask for. He cost me a lot of money over the years but i would have given anything to keep him with me a while longer. I would have paid 10 times the amount i paid just to keep him with me.

I have Tilly now and she's quite the handful but i just can't get over him dying. He's buried in my parents garden and i go and speak to him all the time, but even 5 months later, i still can't mention his name without breaking into tears.

I miss him so much. Even writing this is killing me.

Is this all normal? I've never lost a pet before and the heartache is still unbearable.

Vicky xxx

[dollyk]

lovely post

[Caroline]

I have lost my little boy 'chester' on May 17th and I still can't believe he is not around. He was like my shadow, in the kitchen, in the garden, at the bottom of my bed, there when I went to sleep and there when I woke up. They say the love you get from a dog is unconditional and how true that is. It is still very raw for me at the moment, but I feel like my heart has broken in two :(. Chester was 10 years and 6 months, but still looked like a puppy and everyone remarked at how young looking he was. I miss my boy so so much

[Mom to Lil Buddy]

The thing that helped my granddaughters and myself when we lost my Schnauzer was to write a tribute to her and all the things we did with her through the years. It took several weeks to write and lots of tears as well. We lost so much when we lost her, but having it all on paper to bring out and read when our hearts were particularly aching was a way we could say we will never forget you.

[PomeranianCrazy]

I have lost my little boy 'chester' on May 17th and I still can't believe he is not around. He was like my shadow, in the kitchen, in the garden, at the bottom of my bed, there when I went to sleep and there when I woke up. They say the love you get from a dog is unconditional and how true that is. It is still very raw for me at the moment, but I feel like my heart has broken in two :(. Chester was 10 years and 6 months, but still looked like a puppy and everyone remarked at how young looking he was. I miss my boy so so much

Thanks for this. But i still need some advice.

I lost my King Charles Cavalier in December, His name was Pip and he was 11 years old.

He had been with me through all of the difficult times in my life. Especially when i was a teenager and no human being could understand how i felt, he always understood. He really was the most placid and loving little dog anyone could ask for. He cost me a lot of money over the years but i would have given anything to keep him with me a while longer. I would have paid 10 times the amount i paid just to keep him with me.

I have Tilly now and she's quite the handful but i just can't get over him dying. He's buried in my parents garden and i go and speak to him all the time, but even 5 months later, i still can't mention his name without breaking into tears.

I miss him so much. Even writing this is killing me.

Is this all normal? I've never lost a pet before and the heartache is still unbearable.

Vicky xxx
So sorry for both of ya'll! Yes losing a pet is hard and it takes time to heal. I still miss my Chelsie but i know she's looking down at me smiling and jumping up and down waiting on my to join her. Losing a pet is a hard thing but you just have to remember all the wonderful moment ya'll shared and smile. They are at the rainbow bridge now, running and playing with others.
Times heal wounds, sit back and take the time to heal.

[mum2max]

Bless. It's never easy but, I do believe that they are all running free together at the bridge and are so happy xxx.

[SpeckledHeeler]

I just wanted to say that i loved your post







Dealing with the loss of a Pet

"Therefore to this dog will I, tenderly not scornfully, render praise and favor: with my hand upon his head, is my benediction said, therefore and forever." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, To Flush, My Dog

What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives. With the help and guidance from veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our pets who share everything with us. Our pets see us through marriages, divorces, and the birth of children. Pets endure separation and welcome us back as if we'd been away forever. They are the best pals we have for accepting us as we are.
Pets also help bring us through the losses in our lives. For many of us, our companions are the anchors. We lose a job, we change residences, and we lose friends and relatives through death and separation. The constant is the unwavering love and devotion of a companion animal. One day, that constant will become one of our losses. Now we will grieve because we have lost that companion. Where do we turn? When the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to is gone, where do we go for comfort?
One of the most difficult and important parts of grief and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life and that is all right. You have that right to grieve and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world like ours, the trick is to take the time.
You will probably be faced with well-meaning people who feel you should spend a certain amount time feeling bad and then get over it. No one is able to tell you your time frame for grieving. Only someone who has worked through grief can tell you about the time it takes to heal. Many stages of grief have been described, and none of them are absolute. Generally, the stages are:
1. Shock/disbelief/denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance/resolution/recovery
Well these five stages i've been through, and I'm still working on stage 5, but its getting better as the days go by! The order of the stages happened just like that but I would get better then go back. Ex- Step 1 then 2 all the way to 4 then back to 1 and 2. So ideally, these stages are supposed to progess from stages one through five in predictable fashion. This just does not happen. Be gentle with yourself. Many of us do not go through all stages and almost all of us will be thrown back into and out of these stages before the healing truly begins. With resolution comes perhaps not so much the "getting on with it" as it does the chance to place the memories in a comfortable spot in your life. You may find yourself very close to resolution when a memory or anniversary of your pet's passing knocks you back into the anger or denial stage. Not only is this understandable but it is also a fact of life. Give yourself time.
If, however, you feel that time is passing too painfully for you or you want some very special and caring support, there are many sources of support available to you, like for example the Dogforum, or any forums of some sort.
Or your veterinarian, church, humane societies, counseling, hospice, family and friends, any of these can help will the healing progess so talk. Let your feelings and emotions run free.



Sorry this was so long, just had to share and let it out.;)

[ritabooker]

Thanks for this. But i still need some advice.

I lost my King Charles Cavalier in December, His name was Pip and he was 11 years old.

He had been with me through all of the difficult times in my life. Especially when i was a teenager and no human being could understand how i felt, he always understood. He really was the most placid and loving little dog anyone could ask for. He cost me a lot of money over the years but i would have given anything to keep him with me a while longer. I would have paid 10 times the amount i paid just to keep him with me.

I have Tilly now and she's quite the handful but i just can't get over him dying. He's buried in my parents garden and i go and speak to him all the time, but even 5 months later, i still can't mention his name without breaking into tears.

I miss him so much. Even writing this is killing me.

Is this all normal? I've never lost a pet before and the heartache is still unbearable.

Vicky xxx

I hope it is normal. We have buried six dogs on this property, over the last 25 years. I still miss each one of 'em to tears sometimes. It will get better.:)

[Aussiepaws]

Dealing with the loss of a Pet
"Therefore to this dog will I, tenderly not scornfully, render praise and favor: with my hand upon his head, is my benediction said, therefore and forever." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, To Flush, My Dog

What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives. With the help and guidance from veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our pets who share everything with us. Our pets see us through marriages, divorces, and the birth of children. Pets endure separation and welcome us back as if we'd been away forever. They are the best pals we have for accepting us as we are.
Pets also help bring us through the losses in our lives. For many of us, our companions are the anchors. We lose a job, we change residences, and we lose friends and relatives through death and separation. The constant is the unwavering love and devotion of a companion animal. One day, that constant will become one of our losses. Now we will grieve because we have lost that companion. Where do we turn? When the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to is gone, where do we go for comfort?
One of the most difficult and important parts of grief and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life and that is all right. You have that right to grieve and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world like ours, the trick is to take the time.
You will probably be faced with well-meaning people who feel you should spend a certain amount time feeling bad and then get over it. No one is able to tell you your time frame for grieving. Only someone who has worked through grief can tell you about the time it takes to heal. Many stages of grief have been described, and none of them are absolute. Generally, the stages are:
1. Shock/disbelief/denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance/resolution/recovery
Well these five stages i've been through, and I'm still working on stage 5, but its getting better as the days go by! The order of the stages happened just like that but I would get better then go back. Ex- Step 1 then 2 all the way to 4 then back to 1 and 2. So ideally, these stages are supposed to progess from stages one through five in predictable fashion. This just does not happen. Be gentle with yourself. Many of us do not go through all stages and almost all of us will be thrown back into and out of these stages before the healing truly begins. With resolution comes perhaps not so much the "getting on with it" as it does the chance to place the memories in a comfortable spot in your life. You may find yourself very close to resolution when a memory or anniversary of your pet's passing knocks you back into the anger or denial stage. Not only is this understandable but it is also a fact of life. Give yourself time.
If, however, you feel that time is passing too painfully for you or you want some very special and caring support, there are many sources of support available to you, like for example the Dogforum, or any forums of some sort.
Or your veterinarian, church, humane societies, counseling, hospice, family and friends, any of these can help will the healing progess so talk. Let your feelings and emotions run free.


Sorry this was so long, just had to share and let it out.;)

Like you I'm in that last stage of grief. It's been nearly 2 years since Zephyr died and I realize that despite the what ifs, the anger, the depression that it's not going to bring him back to me and I was truly blessed to have him in my life for 13-1/2 years.

[SpeckledHeeler]

When i lost my ACD it was like a shock that some would kill her.How could someone killsuch a good dog,but now since its been 5 months iam doing better with it,I hope.

[Aussiepaws]

In answer to Vickipoodle's question ... yes it is perfectly normal to feel that way about your loss. It's been almost 2 years since Zephyr died and I still have moments when I'll cry or get a feeling of overwhelming saddness.

Grieving for one's dog is perfectly normal. They are members of our family they give us unconditional love and losing them is just as painful as losing any member of your family.

I've written a letter to Zephyr, I've even sat looking at a picture of him and talked to him. All these things have helped bring me comfort. The pain does go away in time. The fact that I have two wonderful dogs in my life has also helped me through the loss. Odin who has been in my life for 12 years and Cadence who will soon be 2 years old.

[tahlee50]

That was a beautiful post and thank you so much for sharing. I will be sending it on to friends whose loved furkids have gone to the bridge recently.

[Aussiepaws]

Dealing with the loss of a Pet
"Therefore to this dog will I, tenderly not scornfully, render praise and favor: with my hand upon his head, is my benediction said, therefore and forever." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, To Flush, My Dog

What a wonderful responsibility we take on when we bring a pet into our lives. With the help and guidance from veterinarians, we provide a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our pets who share everything with us. Our pets see us through marriages, divorces, and the birth of children. Pets endure separation and welcome us back as if we'd been away forever. They are the best pals we have for accepting us as we are.
Pets also help bring us through the losses in our lives. For many of us, our companions are the anchors. We lose a job, we change residences, and we lose friends and relatives through death and separation. The constant is the unwavering love and devotion of a companion animal. One day, that constant will become one of our losses. Now we will grieve because we have lost that companion. Where do we turn? When the kind face and acceptance we used to turn to is gone, where do we go for comfort?
One of the most difficult and important parts of grief and loss is seeking to understand what has happened and that what you are feeling is all right. Your sense of loss may encompass your life and that is all right. You have that right to grieve and you can take as much time as you need. In a busy and demanding world like ours, the trick is to take the time.
You will probably be faced with well-meaning people who feel you should spend a certain amount time feeling bad and then get over it. No one is able to tell you your time frame for grieving. Only someone who has worked through grief can tell you about the time it takes to heal. Many stages of grief have been described, and none of them are absolute. Generally, the stages are:
1. Shock/disbelief/denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance/resolution/recovery
Well these five stages i've been through, and I'm still working on stage 5, but its getting better as the days go by! The order of the stages happened just like that but I would get better then go back. Ex- Step 1 then 2 all the way to 4 then back to 1 and 2. So ideally, these stages are supposed to progess from stages one through five in predictable fashion. This just does not happen. Be gentle with yourself. Many of us do not go through all stages and almost all of us will be thrown back into and out of these stages before the healing truly begins. With resolution comes perhaps not so much the "getting on with it" as it does the chance to place the memories in a comfortable spot in your life. You may find yourself very close to resolution when a memory or anniversary of your pet's passing knocks you back into the anger or denial stage. Not only is this understandable but it is also a fact of life. Give yourself time.
If, however, you feel that time is passing too painfully for you or you want some very special and caring support, there are many sources of support available to you, like for example the Dogforum, or any forums of some sort.
Or your veterinarian, church, humane societies, counseling, hospice, family and friends, any of these can help will the healing progess so talk. Let your feelings and emotions run free.


Sorry this was so long, just had to share and let it out.;)

You've hit the nail right on the head. When Dolly died, I asked myself the what if's .. should I have let her go sooner, did I do all I could to try and save her. I even thought I didn't want another dog.

With Zephyr it's been much harder to get over his death. It's been nearly 2 years. In fact I find myself still dealing with moments of deep sorrow, or sudden tears, and wonder if I'll ever get over his not being here.
I know I will always miss Zephyr he took a part of me with him when he died. I think there will always be that occasional ache in my heart when I think of him. But it hasn't stopped me from loving the dogs I still have in my life. Just has made me realize how precious every moment we share with our furry family members is.

[luv_my_brownie]

Nice post! Thanks for sharing! It's really lovely!

[BioLux]

Very good poasting. Losing an animal is like losing part of yourself.
Thanks for sharing.
David